New Mothers Are Lonelier than Ever- 4 ways to support a new mother from afar




Isolation is almost a given in our modern motherhood. The idea of the village has disappeared in the past century and has certainly accelerated in scarcity in recent decades. We are moving away from our childhood homes and neighborhoods to pursue education and careers. Especially with first babies, we typically don’t have parent peers or even neighborhood friends yet.  

Far flung friends and family often wish they could be there in the initial postpartum time to help care for the new family, But because of distance and work schedules, visits are postponed and shortened.

How can you offer support to a new mother when you can’t be there in person?

Here are a few sweet tips to let her know you are there with her in spirit and want to help ease her days. Also, moms you can add these to your registry! Sometimes people aren’t aware that there are other options to gift a new family other than gear. This inclusion also reminds your community that there is a beautiful newborn mother in this family as well as a beautiful new born baby.

  1. Be there via text. Send her love notes over her phone - that you’re thinking about her. Funny baby animal videos. A beautiful quote.  Something to brighten her day.

  2. Join her meal train. Arrange to have her favorite restaurant deliver a meal to the family. Or load up a grocery delivery service with some healthy snacks and flowers for them.

  3. Arrange an in-home support service. Something like an in-home massage or cleaning services around the firstmonth can really bring some relief to an achy body or the chore list.

  4. Make a mom-pamper box and fill it with luxurious items like soft pajamas, lactation cookies, bath salts and a pretty magazine. Items that will make her time in bed feel like a retreat and make her feel special as herself, not only as a mom.


The village is a tremendous part of a mother's well being. It offers wisdom, hands-on support and friendship. Although we may live far apart, technology has helped to link us to provide these same tools. With a little creativity and a lot of love, we can figure out ways to embrace this new family with layers of kindness and support.


For New York families, HandsFull Doula offers Cup Filler sessions which is the perfect kind of gift for these sorts of situations:



This beautiful offering is a one time visit of 4 hours of postpartum support at any time in the intense first year. This can be a great way to give a hard working mom a chance to take a deep breath. Many families use this visit as a test-run to see what hands-on postpartum support looks like in their own home with their own particular needs. Other times, this is useful for special days such as when the partner goes back to work or when a sibling will be home all day. Still,  other families give this as a gift because they cannot be there themselves. Whatever your needs and whatever your situation, I will help you to feel refreshed and rejuvenated. It can be as simple as washing dishes and preparing a healthy dinner or education around baby wearing or holding your baby so you can take a hot shower. We cannot give what we do not have. Let me fill your cup so that you can heal and be with your baby more fully.

Get in touch today, to book this service.


If you thought this blog post was helpful, sign up for my mailing list for more tips to create simplicity and ease in your postpartum time.